Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
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