okay pat passed out under dana's car
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Randomize
