wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
