he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Randomize
