sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
