I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
