Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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