bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Randomize
