Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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