She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
