so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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