I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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