i already hear my dad disowning me
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
