Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
