She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
PANTIES FOUND
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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