We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I FOUND THE LEGS
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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