don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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