i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
