Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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