if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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