your thong is hanging out like whoa
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
