We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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