hotel room ftw
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
