i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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