Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
