Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
