we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My balls are so social today.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
