yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Randomize
