Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
