Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
