i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Randomize
