We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
