it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
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