Having a random hookup so left but love u
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
