i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
