i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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