dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize