Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
