Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
