What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
