i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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