is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
