The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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