when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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