Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
How does it feel to date your dad?
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