omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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