Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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