i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
