I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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