It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize