Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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