Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
