But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
