their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
