I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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