Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
