So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
