have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
