Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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