No awkward lesbian experiences without me
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
