She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
