Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
