Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
