He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
