Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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