hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
