Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
