Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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